Sometimes, when you feel down and under, you would want to just isolate yourself and ask for alone time. Sometimes, alone time is not enough and a hero shows up to your aid. When that hero falls, and you have no one to turn to, but yourself, you have to remember that life’s challenges are what help shape you.
For the items on my list in which I can’t complete because some other person’s name is no longer accessible, I shall exempt myself from doing that item. However, I shall try to find my away around it and complete the item.
Ie: 158. Slumber party with Jackie, Tam, + An.
I shall try my best to find three people by those names listed above and have a slumber party with them.
Opening up the box where the flip phone Mino and Slide is safety encased in the bubble wrap, I decided that the bubble wrap was more important than the cameras and started to pop each bubble. Satisfied.
My tumblr says that 7 people are following me. As I investigated who the people are, I have come to realize that only 6 icons appear. I would very much like to know who you are… Who are you mysterious 7th person?
Ten days from today, a culinary showdown will pit a “guardian angel” against the “Next Alton Brown”…
A year of training comes down to this very day. What shall the secret ingredient be? Who knows? Whatever is in store, I shall be ready. Ready or not, but I come with full fire power!! If I had a katana, I shall “kat ana piece of pie!” Pun intended. Like “Cut another”…never mind.
Some people are strange…actually, we are all strange. I suppose that’s why we call other people strangers, huh? Yeah…I guess so.
With our little quirks and squabbles, there is a word that comes to mind, tolerance. The more tolerance you have, the better you are to live with another person. I have always defended other people. I have always taken cared of other people, but what I forget from time to time, is the other story. The story of the untold…I should have forgiven the people who I have fought against. Perhaps, the issue at hand was to deal with other matters: familial, personal, social, financial and religious. Whatever the matter, I should accept their inadequacies as they should accept mine. The asshole. Well, I forgive him for all the things he has done. I feel sorry for him, but his actions are not justifiable because of what happened to him. He needs to get over his problems, just like I need to get over mine. Quite frankly, there is a right way and a wrong to solve problems. Drugs, alcohol, sex, games, food, work (or lack thereof), zeal of faith are just…missteps. I forgive him as I forgive others. I shall let go of my grudge, my regrets and stay away from him for a while.
“Sometimes, I come to question what friendship is.
What is their to question? There is nothing to question, really. Friends are the very beings that help you through life and are what you can gain and lose.”—
“Biking back in the cold and rainy weather, I almost fell on the exact intersection where I lost my chains…As I continued with my heart racing, I asked a question. Is there something out there that looks over me as I look over others? A god, a deity, a spirit, a guardian angel? Three hours of sleep and back to my dorm with all the bold and careless acts I have committed, I am one fucking lucky-ass man… Compassion. Is that not unconditional love? Is that not what saved me?”—
What does care-free feel like again? I don’t quite remember. Was the summer of 2010 a feeling of care-free? Isn’t that when I had no stress? I had a college to look forward to, three temporary jobs to ease the costs of going out, the work out of volleyball, the fun of partying, the joys of doing new things and crossing off accomplished tasks.
Or was my childhood care-free where I didn’t have to think about tomorrow or the day after or yesterday or the day before and I didn’t have to worry about who my friends are or when the next quiz is. Nope. I thought about lunch or what to play for recess. That’s care-free isn’t it?
How about my speech on Brianism where I redefined love and hate. Love and hate are not opposites. Rather, they are complements. The opposite of a feeling is the lack of it, apathy. Love is to care as hate is to care-not. Hmph. Perhaps, I change my views, my ideals? If the adjective for apathy is apathetic, wouldn’t those who have “pathy” be pathetic? Well, who cares if I am pathetic. I have emotion and I’m not afraid to use it. What a shame for those who put all aspects aside.
What am I saying? I care too much. Where is the care-not? This imbalance is what I experienced today. Number three on the things I will never do again pertains to me. I should be care-free. No regrets. There should be none. The past is done and gone. Can’t change it. Only now. Live in the now.
I still care too much. It’s not a bad thing, though. IT’S not.
That’s my answer. That’s what I wanted to hear. That’s what came from within me.
A smile. A warm day. A chuckle. I had a realization that home is more than just a place. Home does not have to be within the confines of a house, but can include the grounds where children run free, institutions hold their beliefs, memories run wild and experiences, good and bad, define the character of people.
A more defined smile has crossed my face. I didn’t realize how much my family loves me. Did a few miles of separation, some time apart from home and several bad experiences make me take notice of what I have taken for granted? I guess so.
On May 7, 2011, I have come to understand why so many people around me smile and laugh frustrating scenarios. They have counted their blessings. They couldn’t have asked for a better life. They aren’t held down by their regrets and their worries. Rather, they are living. No, they are thriving.
The path I take and the decisions I make will shape into a smile that I shall carry. The dimples embody the past. The teeth shows a bright future. The warmth carries a bona fide compassion.
I am at fault for my own actions. I have been careless with my own bike, Mimi. For that, I have to pay up to $30 to fix up her back wheel. For the wheel is skewed and rubs against the brakes.
I am at fault for my own actions. I took for granted my mode of transportation. Walking is fun and all, but damn the heat of Davis.
I am at fault for my own actions…or lack of actions. If I have been more careless, I would have been in a worse situation where I could face plant like the one girl who collided on the secret path next to Hoagland annex and the baseball field.
Reminder to self: I was lucky I did not get hurt when Mimi broke down. I had many near accidents and one self-inflicted. I need to be more careful and be aware of what I take for granted.
Since your other blog for your dandelion list doesn’t have an ask, I have no other place to tell you this but here. I hear today is Dandelion Appreciation Day. It reminded me of your dandelion list. Have you been getting more things done?
Starting today, I will become a better man. In order to do so, I will start Project Post-its! What project post-its is is a revision of who I am. Every complaint, regret, mistake or meddling that I say or do would be written down and put on my Stendig Calendar. I will see this everyday I look at my calendar which is quite frequently, and hopefully, I will correct my wrongs. If not, other people in my suite and those who visit will surely know how much of a “good” person I am.