Dandelion list

Hero-shima.

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 01:41:34 -0700

Sometimes, when you feel down and under, you would want to just isolate yourself and ask for alone time. Sometimes, alone time is not enough and a hero shows up to your aid. When that hero falls, and you have no one to turn to, but yourself, you have to remember that life’s challenges are what help shape you.

A fallen hero is a hero, nonetheless. Heroes, not the superhero types, are like any other person, fallible. Is that not what makes them heroes? The ordinary people who are capable of overcoming their obstacles. Once the hero falls, the hero gets back up and out of the abyss comes atonement.

To hear and see the hero fall is something entirely different. To keep the belief that your hero is still true no matter the odds is what keeps the ideals running and your inspiration rising.

Where is the line drawn? When a hero falls, and there is no turning back, what happens? Did Will Smith not play a character as such?

What’s the use in comparing a movie to reality? Rambles of doubt and false hope can chip away at the symbol of inspiration. To keep in mind that heroes have flaws and can turn back is okay too. Self-reassurance is the key.

I need time to think and cope with the changes in my hero. Not all pure, but still the same lovable personality. A cracked frame can definitely alter perspectives on personal choices. I don’t know what I’m saying anymore. I just need to believe again. I need to and want to remind myself that I will get back up from the hellish circumstances that I am experiencing.

I haven’t been reading lately. It’s quite a shame…

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 22:30:31 -0800

I haven’t been reading lately. It’s quite a shame…

62. Walk on a log.

Sat, 05 Jan 2013 22:59:34 -0800

1.2.13:

Monkey bridge

66. Watch a meteor shower.

Wed, 24 Oct 2012 22:05:23 -0700

10.21.12:

I must say that I was ill-prepared for this meteor shower watching. Craned my neck with my roommates for two hours looking up at the sky.

The orionids were quite a fascinating sight. Almost pulled an all nighter, actually. I was working on my post lab for the most part and then from 3 am to 5 am, it was time to head out into the cold, dark fields and watch.

I was quite excited and being able to catch a glimpse of at least 11 of these fast going meteors was worth the lack of sleep. I must say, though, it was freezing outside… I thought I was well dressed with gloves, sweater and sweats with tennis shoes, but NOPE.

Anyway, that was definitely a moment I will never forget unless I get Alzheimer’s or amnesia or something else entirely different…

159. Go camping/rafting.

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 15:20:49 -0700

6.15-6.17/2012:

Boy Scouts of America. One would expect these nature loving people would know how to throw a good outdoor adventure. Isn’t the brochure very alluring? Well, let me tell you that this is no ordinary boy scout troop. This is no ordinary camping trip.

This 3 day trip is supposed to encapsulate the great outdoors with family. Hiking, cooking, and star gazing were a few of many options to do. What happened instead was the onset of getting lost to the campsite, getting coerced to “volunteer” by making 1000+ water balloons that I won’t get to throw, uncomfortable nights due to the constant chatter or snoring from the neighboring tents, non-stop Vietnamese-not to say that’s a bad thing, but more on that later-and lack of actual outdoor activities.

My parents signed my brother up for boy scouts because he was getting himself into trouble. It’s reasonable for an adolescent to have urges to fit in with the crowd by buying lots of different clothing. He, however, crossed the line. He managed to steal credit cards and cash in order to buy what “he” wants. He really isn’t buying for himself. As Hank’s father would say, “He’s not himself. He’s a fake.” Those words ring true, even if it’s hard to believe. He bought a fixie, a canon camera, many different shirts, and much more. I guess it was time to discipline him by keeping him away from the computer and toward other activities. Their first mistake was to take him to a Vietnamese group. He, like me, does not speak Vietnamese that well. Quite frankly, I was put in Chinese school and somehow, I’m expected to know Vietnamese. No correlation there…no logical reason as to why. NEVER MIND, I digress. The second mistake my parents made was the Vietnamese troop was also majority Catholic. I guess alienating him from a group can set him straight. Is this some new psychological tactic that can alter his personality? Perhaps. The hell would I know?

Anyway, the family doesn’t go camping, EVER. This first time was quite a show. With all the excitement emanating from my parents and me, there is going to be a good time or so I was lead to believe. Upon arrival and set up of the tents, the campsite was quite a sight. There was a lake not too far from the campgrounds. I would say it would be a 30 minute hike, but I could be wrong.

As the night progressed, the activities in store for the campers were nothing special. The food was average at most. The cooking was done in bulk over a grill and portable stove tops. The people were uninteresting. Most were Vietnamese kids, some were adult scout masters, and the rest were parents. With no one to talk to besides my parents, I reverted to being a mute for most of the time. I couldn’t speak fluent Vietnamese, but I can darn well understand what the hell they were saying. These were the people who gossiped and complained. The weather sucked. That person sucks. The food sucked. The bathroom sucked. That kid is such a pain in the butt. Blah. Blah. Blah. Boring conversations. Typical. Stereotypical.

As the days pass, the most enjoyable times were star gazing into the night contemplating my existence in comparison the universes and watching my mother cook in a cooking competition among the boy and girl scouts against the adults. My mother’s team came in a close second only because the other team of all male adults cooked more dishes packed with salt.

That was it. A lot of standing or sitting around in the heat. There was making of thousands of water balloons and watching how this idiot kid not listening to anyone pick up a bunch of water balloons and throwing them onto the floor. All that hard work was not even being used by the scout master’s intent. If that was my son, I would have scolded him and disciplined him. That kid will grow up stubborn and childish. I can already sense it.

On another note, I noticed that older Vietnamese ladies like to die their hair red or at least a good bunch of them do. Is this a new trend?

Almost forgot to talk about the non-existent hike trip. I wanted my parents to enjoy a hike. Regardless of their approval, I would have went hiking anyway. My mom got scared that the trail could lead us astray. So, hiking was a definite failure. What happened in the end? My dad drove us to the lake and we took pictures. Mother told me to upload it on facebook. Who does that? I barely upload pictures on facebook.

So much talk about God too. Why bother going with them? Vacations are no fun with family. It’s a shame that there is no risk involved. No adventure. Not even relaxation. What is up with that? Gah.

I am appreciative of this experience. I learned that I will not go camping with my parents nor with boy scouts.

129. Cookbook, published.

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 18:23:39 -0700

6/4/12:

I participated in a cookbook publishing! YAY! Seafood pasta with pesto reduction was sent to the Food Tech Club for their first ever cookbook. Muhahaha.

Mr. Saler!

Mon, 21 May 2012 18:21:11 -0700

Mr. Saler!

"A simple mistake can tell me what you aren’t or remind me why I love you."

Tue, 15 May 2012 22:57:52 -0700

“A simple mistake can tell me what you aren’t
or remind me why I love you.”

- To remind me to interpret this quote. I haven’t found the time to understand what it truly means or if it’s meaningful.

Video

Sat, 05 May 2012 22:42:36 -0700

Challenge accepted.

Fri, 27 Apr 2012 19:46:44 -0700

Challenge accepted.

new amendment.

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 17:19:13 -0700

For the items on my list in which I can’t complete because some other person’s name is no longer accessible, I shall exempt myself from doing that item. However, I shall try to find my away around it and complete the item.

Ie: 158. Slumber party with Jackie, Tam, + An.

I shall try my best to find three people by those names listed above and have a slumber party with them.

98. Make my own clothing.

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 03:26:00 -0800

2.9.12:

As the screen printing class is almost coming to an end, I have earned a skill in printing basic t-shirt designs onto shirts. The idea began when my regular bio teach, Mr. CHEADLE, joked at me for not getting him a shirt from Davis. He had several shirts from other students who attended various other schools, but not from Davis. So, I took up that challenge to take this class and make a shirt for him. I will then sign and date it. The shirt reads ” I’m a the fungi!” and there are two mushrooms with mycelium as toes.

Note that the “a” is crossed because the fungi is plural for fungus. Therefore, it will be grammatically correct to say and write the fungi, not a fungi.

Also, I have been coming up with puns to put on shirts. The clothing line will be called pundemonium. It’s a play on words on pandemonium which means a wild uproar.

115. Spend time alone and treat myself out.

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 11:39:31 -0800

1.14.11:

Among all the places in the world, San Francisco was the unique place for my get-away. Isolated in a city where no one cares about what you look like or what you do, for that matter.

You see, I’ve been trying to escape from my troubles from home. More bad news just piles and piles on. Sure, I’m supposed to take care of the problems before it becomes too large for me to handle, but I need time to think about it. I just can’t rush into things.

You see, back home, I would be lost in the unknown. Expectations set by others are not going to be met. Relationships among family lines tense up really quick. Not knowing when the madness and sadness will end, I hide it all away in the depths of my mind and heart. Some may know what is wrong with my life, others…not so much. It’s best to keep the ones who don’t know pure of heart. Ignorance will bring them bliss for I cannot bring upon them the pain in my heart.

From brother to grandfather, from grades to financial problems, from life to love, I am one hell of a wreck on the inside. Keeping my head up is by no means a recommendation, but a requirement, now.

For the few who have heard my story, I am blessed to have them in my life. Each have bestowed me their powers of listening, something which I have lost quite a few years ago. I have been hearing things or misinterpreting them. Woe is me. Woe is me…

As all these problems have been awaiting for my return, I have headed westward to the bay. The cold nights there have left me without much sleep. The alone time has granted me relaxation. The end result has been one hell of an adventure.

Cutting myself off from the world is a work in progress. One day, I will truly embrace the wilderness. In the meantime, I come to tell my synopsis of how I spent my time alone and treated myself out.

As the Saturday morning progressed, I have undertaken a task to find some parchment paper to no avail. This unfamiliar path of being truly alone with no familiarity to your surroundings have now been foreign. Foreign to everything. Judging myself with my very own decisions. Dressed in scrubs and walking the streets to find a place to eat within a mall is not an ideal way of treating myself out, but it’s a step. Corn dog, something I used to enjoy when I was a kid. I don’t know how I came to love those things, but it’s probably a preservative thing. Too bad there’s no positive connotation. Perhaps, it was not such a fond memory. After all, hot dogs aren’t the healthiest of meals. A disaster struck me as I boarded the correct light rail, but headed in the opposite direction. My mistake was not even going to the front of the station to pay for my ticket. As I later found out, it wouldn’t matter. Paying for a ticket is one time thing. I can transfer busses without paying two dollars more. The convenience and satisfaction of such a deal. Only Davis can top that with free rides anywhere to any student.

As the light rail conductor pulled up to the last stop, I did not realize what I have done by staying and having to have her lead me out. The first thing in spending alone time is to not know what to do, do something and do it wrong. Knowing what is correct is based on a few things.

One of which happens to be asking for help. Help comes in magnanimous forms. The male in his fifties who looks hispanic and white has introduced to me the different ways in which I can get to my phlebotomy school. He has conversed with me and given me a sense of pride. For he thought highly of me as a kid who goes to school and might just be some sort of medical student.

Such a nice man, he is! Came to school on time and managed to get around just fine. Five successful draws in record time. AWESOME! I’m getting the hang of this phlebotomy stuff. Normally, I would have a success rate of 80% (4/5 people) with one of the unsuccessful draws coming from a hard vein to find or a personal mistake on my part for not doing the technique right. I get too confident and rush into things. :{ Easy veins are cheesy lemon squeezy. Uhhh, moving onward to the Ferry Building on the Pier!

Time to buy me some dried candy cap mushrooms, dried lobster mushrooms, a new mushroom growing kit of the shiitake kind and chanterelles!

After that, it goes down as something like this:

Lost along the way to Chinatown. Beautiful landscape.

Chinatown celebrated the New Year a week early. Some volunteers were pretty. Some were not. Groceries were cheap, but backpack too heavy…bakeries were okay too. Thought I saw M. Song.

Walked back. Sun setting. Feet tired. Shoes not meant for walking long distances. Shoulders tired. Backpack is hella heavy. Ferry Building round 2. Needed to break a 20 to use public transport. Spare cash. No alternatives. Lose a 20 for a ride home? No way! Bart back, then bus back. Bus systems are weird…

Trader Joe’s for some food. Downed apple cider. Ate some prepared food. Washed the dishes. Nice, warm shower.

Prepare for next day. Hoping for a ride back home. Wake up to food convention. Do a bit of research before leaving. A little bit of talking, a bit more walking and a whole lot of eating.

Found a ride back home. Got ready. Phone is at 1 battery life. No charger. Tried to sleep. Cold as fuck. Ended up finishing research. Had to head out in the morning. Packed up bags and was on my way over to the food convention for round 2. With everything set, it’s time to eat some more, walk some more and talk a bit less. Nap for an hour and continue to do what I need to do. Get samples. Done. Deal. Game over. Head home.

Some people leave their hearts in San Francisco. I did not. I left something else behind. I left my stressed-out mind.

131. Search party for friend.

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 22:42:00 -0800

Some arbitrary date of the first week of Spring quarter 2011:

Dear Jerry Ngov,

Whether or not you were rushing or just party hopping, you disappeared one night. You probably forgot because you got so fucked up during the party. I believe Kim was the one who came and told me that you were missing. You couldn’t be found in the house party. She and another friend went looking around all over the place, but to no avail.

From that house to Cuarto, there was a search for you. When I was informed, I did a search of my own. We only hoped that you would come back in time or you would be found by some [sober] friend in the house to give you a ride. You gave your phone to a friend so that you won’t lose it yourself. That move was definitely a scare for there was no way to contact you.

Fortunately, you found your way back in one piece and unharmed. Just disoriented… I don’t care if you drink, Jerry, but don’t you ever pull a stunt like that! You are one of the most cheerful and helpful buddies I have in Davis. You are like family to me.

I blocked this memory out of my mind until now. I was flipping through my Dandelion List and saw number 131.

Sincerely,

Brian Chau

The Bare wall.

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 18:11:39 -0800

12.17.11:

To replace the Stendig calendar that took up so much space on my wall, I resort to my Dandelion list.

29. Draw with crayons.
[Not sure if I want to put these drawings on my wall…]

133. Collect colorful bottles that can be hung on a tree to catch the sunlight from the setting sun.
[I NEED TO FIND A TREE]

151. Have a board filled with pictures.
[I shall buy some cork boards and have 100 or so pictures of food printed out at Costco]

161. Paint with food.
[Going to get canvas, food coloring or spices.]

On a side note, I need to make chalkboard which requires wood, frames, painters tape and chalkboard paint.

Another side note, I should make spore prints.

To the people.

Tue, 01 Nov 2011 23:01:00 -0700

To the people who dream of greatness…like me,

The media has it wrong. People who dream of greatness, achieve greatness, manifest greatness are all great story lines, but in reality, only a few of us really become great people. Now, I don’t mean we should stop trying to achieve such a goal. I’m just saying, the media is wrong.

What is it that is wrong? It is the people who live ordinary lives in a world happy and free of greatness. They do not aspire such high aspirations. They do not try to overachieve. They do not want, want, want. They only take what they need and let go of their wants. These are the ordinary people who do their jobs as best as they can. They serve you in every possible manner. They provide you their best and sometimes, their worst. They don’t talk down to you. Actually, they don’t really talk to you besides the occasional greeting here and there. They do as they please and keep on living.

What puzzles me is why they don’t want to have a better life, but of course, my ignorance has blinded me from the truth! What other lives can they live? What other job do they perform? They seem to hold their emotions in and keep on doing their work. Against their will or not, they bore own without a complaint. Perhaps they can’t complain. Perhaps, they can, but choose not to. Perhaps, they can, but realize nothing can happen to change their predicament. Perhaps, they have nothing to complain.

You or I ask a favor from them and they will do it. They won’t talk back to you. They’re troopers. That description in of itself is notable for greatness. Like Jerry. Like Zayar. Like Chuckie. Well, Chuckie to a certain extent. Like Marc. Like my mother and father. To these people, I owe them a bit of gratitude. Without people like them in our lives, I would’ve lived a more ignorant life, one full of regrets, complaints, anger and frustration, and sorrow. People like them are the ones who I look up to as a figure of heroism. Too bad I have been manipulated by the social perspectives of what greatness aught to be. Greatness does not come from accomplishing the unthinkable or thinking the un-doable. Greatness does not come from saving the world or rising in the ranks of hierarchies. Greatness does not come from what is thrust upon on us. Greatness can be such things, but greatness is being and doing who you are.

I have it all wrong. Something I learned outside the bucket list…if I am unable to complete all my tasks on my list, at least I know, that I’m not doing this to be known as someone great.

97. Make Churros!

Fri, 02 Sep 2011 12:17:00 -0700

9.2.11:

Craving satisfied. Churros made.

126. Big bubble wrap popping.

Sun, 21 Aug 2011 22:16:00 -0700

8.21.11:

Opening up the box where the flip phone Mino and Slide is safety encased in the bubble wrap, I decided that the bubble wrap was more important than the cameras and started to pop each bubble. Satisfied.

73. Run with my brother, Andy. 8.16.11 A 1.6 mile non-stop run...

Tue, 16 Aug 2011 09:55:59 -0700

73. Run with my brother, Andy.

8.16.11

A 1.6 mile non-stop run in my vibrams.

18. Cook surprise dinner for family after [1st year of] college.

Fri, 12 Aug 2011 20:04:09 -0700

8~12~11:

Refer to the Chau time blog for pics.

I made some Rotini pasta that was covered in tomato sauce (blended up from leftovers) and some turkey balls fresh from the oven.

There were also some oven roasted eggplants that were covered in breadcrumbs.